Lucky (Wo)Man

Back in 2002, Michael J Fox wrote a book entitled Lucky Man about his dealing with his diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease (PD). And aside from the different name of the disease, everything else felt like he was talking about MS.

It is a great read and I recommend it for anyone with MS, newly diagnosed or living with it for years. In it he talks a lot about his childhood, his career, Family Ties and all of these stories are interesting and humorous. But he talks a lot about the diagnosis and it feels like he is talking about what I went through and probably a lot of other people as well. (This book was recommended to me by another person with MS.)

Michael J Fox talks about not believing he had PD. When I first was diagnosed with MS, I often wished I had never gone to see the neurologist. Thanks to my insurance at the time, I needed a referral. And by the time I got an appointment, my attack was over – I felt fine. I almost canceled the appointment. My husband said I should still go since we didn’t know why the tingling had happened. But if I hadn’t gone, I might have gone 5 years before having another attack, and being diagnosed. All of those years I could have not known. And a lot of times, I wished I had not known. Looking back, I realize that it was better to know than not, but I often wondered.

Then Mr. Fox talks about whether he caused this disease. How many times did I think that? Now, I hear that there is research out there that may link Epstein Barr (Mono) to MS as a potential cause factor. And by running myself down, I had gotten Mono in high school. Did I cause the MS because I got mono. I am a type-A personality and I am still running myself down. Of all my flare ups (aside from the pregnancy attacks which I blame hormones), I think I have caused each one. And I know I am doing it but I keep saying, if I can just hold out a little longer, it’ll be fine. So I know I am to blame for the flare ups, but did I cause the disease in the first place?

That kinda brings me to the next thing Mr. Fox talks about which is finding clusters. I am always comparing my disease to others I know. MS is such an individual disease that it is hard to find similarities which is part of the problem with finding the cause. But when I find the similarities I want to tell everyone. But for every similarity I find, there are 20 differences which negate the similarity.

Lastly Mr. Fox talks about telling (or not telling for so long). I went through that a lot in the first few years. In the first year, I told very few people. I didn’t want anyone to treat me differently just like him. He said that he didn’t feel like he was deceiving anyone, it was his problem and his personal business. About a year or so after being diagnosed, I wrote an article after the MS Bike Ride and that opened up the telling part. I still didn’t tell a lot, but now if it comes up, I’ll say something. It’s not as if I put a sign around my neck, but if someone asks me if I know someone with MS (because I am doing the Walk-MS, or Bike-MS or Challenge-MS -the new logos), I’ll say that I have MS. It gives me a chance to educate the person if the person is not familiar with MS. I think that’s what Michael J Fox did once he came public with the Parkinson’s. I actually wrote about telling a little on my share post at http://www.healthcentral.com/multiple-sclerosis/c/6191/15571/to/ .(I am writing on this site as well.)

So am I a lucky (wo)man like Michael J Fox. I’d like to think so. There are so many things that I feel I am lucky to have. I am going to post an article I wrote for the MS Bike Ride and I talk about being lucky in it – just remember it was written in 1998 and a lot has changed for the better which means I am even luckier.